Talk about the short end of the stick.
As if contracting COVID wasn’t bad enough, a dismayed man now claims he’s lost 1.5 inches of his penis length to the vile virus.
“My penis has shrunk,” the gripping guy lamented in a letter to the “How To Do It” podcast this week.
“I’m a straight male in my thirties,” he said, anonymously, referring only to himself as “short.”
“In July last year, I contracted COVID and was very sick. When I was discharged from the hospital, I had erectile dysfunction issues,” he added.
The supposedly well-endowed man went on to explain that prior to his diagnosis, he boasted an “above average” sized tool.
But, much to his chagrin, his once impressive soldiers have since faded.
“[The erectile dysfunction] gradually got better with medical attention, but it seemed like I had one lasting problem left,” he confessed. “Before I got sick [my penis] was above average. Not huge, but definitely bigger than normal. Now I’ve lost about an inch and a half and got significantly below average.
He claimed a medical adviser attributed his penis problems to vascular damage caused by COVID and was warned that the impairment was likely permanent.
“It shouldn’t really matter,” the man wrote. “But it had a profound impact on my self-confidence and my abilities in bed. I know you can’t give me back my missing length and girth, but I was wondering if you could give me any advice on what I should have to do now.”
In response to the dude’s desperate plea for penis help, Dr. Charles Welliver – urologist and director of men’s health at Albany Medical College, NY – confirmed the rare but real devastation COVID can wreak. to the unmentionables of a man.
“You can connect these dots,” the doctor told Slate of the virus’ correlation with ding-a-ling disorders.
“COVID [causes] a mass of respiratory symptoms that leads to many deaths,” he said. “But there are also some pretty significant vascular issues that occur in men.”
The doctor went on to cite studies that showed cases of men who suffered from priapism – the persistent erection caused a lack of sexual arousal – and erectile dysfunction (ED) after contracting COVID.
“When guys have erectile dysfunction, they lack erections for a while, and when that happens, they shrink,” he added.
And his comment about miniaturized limbs was backed up by Dr. Ashley Winter, an Oregon urologist, who insisted, “COVID d––k is a real thing.
“The main reason we think this is happening is something we call endothelial dysfunction,” she explained. “It’s basically the cells that line your blood vessels…and they’re really important for the functioning of a lot of different organs.”
The medical professional went on to note that when COVID infects these vital cells, it can adversely affect a number of organs.
“And because an erection is a blood flow event…When those blood vessels are affected, you can have erectile dysfunction,” she said.
However, despite the “failed” prognosis received from his dire doctor, both urologists agreed that rehabilitation practices like doing “penis pumps” or buying a “penis vacuum”, could restore length over time.
“A typical regimen would be to start something like Viagra or Cialis to improve blood circulation,” Winter advised. “Another thing would be to buy a penis aspirator and do penis exercises with it or penis pumps.”
She also suggested stretching the penis with a traction device named RestoreX, which she says would lengthen shortened pees by 1-2 centimeters with consistent use.
“These are easy things you can do at home to avoid shortening or to regain the length you’ve lost,” she said.
So, long story short, hang in there guys. There is hope.